The HORROR
by KalanSlytherin
Summary: The elvs of lothlorien were enjoying a nice quiet day when trouble struck


Ok I don't own L.O.T.R mores the pity. Sniffel. Anyway I hope you enjoy. Be warned flamers will be fed to Fluffy the wrage. Otherwise Bon apateat.  
  
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THE HORROR  
  
Haldir Marchwarden of Lothlorien was quite happily playing cards with his two brothers and winning. It had been a rather quiet day with nothing to kill or threaten, mores the pity. "Rumile I bet my new dagger?" Orophen said putting the named item on the growing pile in front of them. "Well I bet my new cloak." Rumile replied doing the same. It was now Haldir's turn. "Well I bet ......" And that was about as far as he got, seeing as the Prince of Mirkwood, The Lord of Rivendell, his twin Sons and Glofindel the Barlog Slayer had just run under their tree screaming bloody murder. In other words it went something like this.  
  
P.O.M "AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." L.O.R "AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." S.P.E "AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." G.T.B.S. "AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."  
  
"Eru." Haldir said staring in astonishment. "What in Middle Earth caused them to do that?" The three brothers sat in the tree, rather stunned for a moment, before chanting could be heard ,slowly getting closer. "Leggie, leggie, Leggie, Leggie, Leggie, LEGGIE.' Female voices could be heard saying. "We want Leggie, Elrond his Sons, Glorfindel and Haldir." The three brothers starred at each other in horror, it was "FAN GIRLS". Oh the horror, the terror, the pain.... What the heck??? Why do the elves of Lothlorien have Gattling Guns. Because that is what Galadrum had just uncovered, per Haldir's orders. "Ok men, don't be afraid." Haldir called to his terrified troups. "Fire at will." In moment's rapid fire, screams and howls penetrated the quiet peace of Lothlorien. 10 minutes later Haldir orderd a cease-fire and surveyed the scene. The dreaded "Fan Girls" were no more. With a shrug the elves turned back to whatever it had been that they were doing before the disturbance. "Ok Rumile, Orophen I bet my new bow?" Haldir said sitting down again. "Fine." Came the reply. "Ha! four of a kind?" Rumile said, smirking. "Unfortunately dearest brother I have a Flush." Orophen said. "You do??? You look OK to me." Rumile replied looking confused. "Not that kind of flush, a card flush." Qrophen snapped back. "Oh ..... Ok." Rumile replied looking unconvinced. "Sorry to say this but, I win." Haldir said. "Royal flush." "Aww damn not again." Came the simultaneous replies from his brother as Haldir collected his winnings.  
  
Meanwhile the P.O.M, T.L.R,S.O.E and G.T.B.S were hiding under Galadriel's and Celeborn's bed. "Come now Elrond I'm sure the border guards have taken care of your.... Ahh problem." Celeborn said as he knelt down beside his bed trying to get the petrified elves out from underneath the bed. "How can you be sure?" Glorfindel snapped back. "Because we acquired some rather useful Gattling Guns off E-Bay through Galadriel's mirror several weeks ago to deal with just this sort of problem." Celeborn explained just as his wife came in. "Come now it is safe. Haldir and his men have rid us of the fan girls and you are now safe." Galadriel said. A few moments later 5 dishevelled elves came out from under the bed. "There now, all is well again." Galadriel said. "Yeah for now. What about next time?" Legolas asked. "Ahh well, I guess we'll just have to get more Gattling Guns for the other elven realms." Celeborn said , Galadriel nodded agreement.  
  
Several Months Later at Mirkwood Borders.  
  
"Leggie, leggie, leggie, leggie." Chanting for the prince of Mirkwood could be heard throughout the entire forest. Thrunduril Stood at the edge of his forest scowling. Theses females had interrupted a nice afternoon with his son. "When ever you are ready son?" He said. Legolas smirked before pulling the trigger on his own personal, inscribed, Gattling gun. Screams, wails and cries for Legolas to save them were heard before blessed silence. "Ahh... a lovely weapon." Thrunduril said as he and Legolas walked back towards the palace. "Isn't it just?" Legolas replied grinning.  
  
Thanks to E-Bay and Galadriel's mirror the elves of middle earth were safe, but what of the race of men.... Well we'll just have to wait and see. Laughter is heard fading off into the background.  
  
ok see the button that says review????   
  
  
  
WELL DO IT. 


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